The in laws are outlawed.

So here I am, Sunday afternoon...

I've resorted to a blog to vent, so here's problem number 1;

The in laws...

I know this is such a cliche, but most well-known cliche's are built on some long-standing fact or problem.

Here's the problem; I don't hate them...I want to, but I don't. They drive me so irrationally crazy and behind there fake smiles and faux apologies I have been driven to wonder...are there two psychopath's ready to break out. They would charm people into thinking they're harmless using long winded conversation and old fashioned "sensible" shoes. Then, when they've invited you round for a "nice meal" they pounce.... Using the antique letter opener to slice off your head. They did this to me, not the letter opener but still! Wolves in sheep's clothing is my term for them. (Well we secretly call my father in the tin man..)

These people act like respectable, nice understanding people. If you take the time (as i have  been forced to over the years) the façade crumbles. What to you ask?? Make yourself a large coffee,glass of wine, roll yourself a fag and pull up a pew...this could take a while!!!

They are crazy..plain nuts!! They are passive aggressive, insulting and down right mean. My mother in law has a special power, she can insult you in a way which makes you feel you've been complimented. By the time you've realised she's serving up the best roast you've ever tasted (annoying) feeling smug, and pouring the obligatory with-a-meal-glass-of-wine, all with a huge fake smile plastered on her face. What the hell is that all about???

My father in law also possesses a power of his own, he told me he used to read his children their bed time stories....this doesn't surprise me at all. He must be the most boring, long winded , self righteous creature I have ever known.!!

How did I get to feeling like this? I will explain later, but for now I have a children's birthday party to attend!

"somebodyshootmenow!"